~Calin-4

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the ticking of my pulse is growing louder
more in tune with every clock I ever set
and you are not moving
I should dance
I have to jump
Pulled by my own strings, tangled in myself
because I let you hold the hammer just once
you own it now
said you bought it at the neighbors' garage sale
with that old spare tire you said we would need
but the car hasn't broken and it still stands on all fours
proudly
like it was built to
but my third leg is giving out
my forth is scheduled for amputation next rainy tuesday
and you will show up late
with wilted flowers
repeating the words of some old film we have on a scratched DVD
so it skips over thRepose by ~Calin-4

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the Consulting Detective and his War Hero by ~Calin-4

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Of Consenting AgeI was born into a country of ambiguity, contradictions, and problems,
--not to say the rest of the world is not without its unsolvable scandals and earth shattering failures, not in the slightest,--
but I would rather focus on the faults of the land I am supposed to love wholeheartedly and defend to the death with my eagle, my musket, and my approned wife by my side.

~~

I worry about the affect the bright green grass, littered with known killers, will have on me, and that white picket fence
--it will not hold me up forever.
I would sooner paint it black or red than have it stand there, promising a guise of protection, when dulled, all it Of Consenting Age by ~Calin-4

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ArmadaWhenever the crooked limbs
Of autumn trees
Throw their shadows on my windowpanes,
The movie reel of a year ago
Jumps
Into replay,
And images of dirty strawberry blonde leaves
Cannot escape my mind.

A year ago
Today,
That is,
Exactly
These present days' ancestors
Fell into piles set for them by the obligated rake
And defiled by the irresponsible raker.

Echoes of the bleached white smiles and laughter
Fall
And
Jump
Too,
Catapulting from thought to idea to
Present to throat;
Breeding new clips, reeling new film to be filed away
To be filled with bright illusions and subtle lessons;
Designated to fade
Or burn a hole through my Armada by ~Calin-4

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~Feel free to leave me a comment or peruse my gallery. Either would be lovely.~

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board and keep

by ~Calin-4, Aug 30, 2012, 10:42:49 PM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / General / Short Stories

^{There was something about how his tongue rolled off his teeth that begged me to listen to what his nostalgic deprived morality had to say now, of all times. I brought a finger to hang him on that one thought, let him dangle a minute as I get my lighter that had made love to my jean pocket in an attempt to mimic me--to become human: dirty and monochromatic. I cuffed my fingers around my lip's handle to savor the taste before the smell, relish the fruits of the stronger breath and weigh it against the stale stench that seeks to swallow the room, saving me for last--let me live among my trash a little longer.
I stomached the odor and then relieved him from his hook; his tongue rolled over each word, his back hunched and his hands went busy at relaying the story to my eyes, my ears were simply not enough and my mouth was occupied.
Cigarettes disgust me; I can hear the gurgle of their sludge slither down my throat, clearing vital acids and thinners for their renovations, making homes, renting rooms, breeding in the bowl of my chest. I would sooner wish to devour a cockroach and have him fuck his lover in my heart and curl in between my ribs to sleep with the door locked and his arms warm with her trying to crawl into him, than the stark black ink that bleeds from death's coil.

Dmitry was still rummaging through his thoughts and vocal vibrations to show me how much he enjoyed the contours of my body, the lines formed by the shoulders we peeled into light, the ankles we crashed together. How picturesque I was amid the smoke here.
'We live here' I said, breathing into him.
He came forward and held me under his thoughts, rolled me under him, tricking my contours to be wrapped up under his outline; squared away for another Christmas that we escaped to have a gray, smoky, broken room make us feel more colourful and heavy; I do not feel like floating to the top of the room when the ghost of that smell haunts the only sky I see.
I burnt myself with the ass of my cigarette just above me knee and laughed. A good sting was what I needed after this attack on myself.

'I live here' I said, throwing up laughter at his exotic build twisting under me, to hold me warm. 'I won't leave.'
I coughed at him and wiped his smirk off his face with a small kiss to his cheek.
He stared into me, saw my cigarette-bloodstained walls I called a body and he eased himself into me, included himself in the sticky collage, and cleared my mind of doubts.
I dropped the cigarette to the floor to keep the dust particles entertained while I busied myself with petty things. Our connection was petty, he loved me and I did not see why but we lived in that rickety apartment until the date they chose for its demolition: stuck.

'We had to move' his diction filled with more r's and w's and their holy children than our stale language wrote.
'I know. I'm sorry we could not stay.'
'I am too.'
'I'm sorry we cannot dent the off-white mattress with our knees and dress in the sheets we find in the closet in the hall.'
'I wish we could have turned over the floor and torn up the furniture-'
'All but the bed'
'-And paint it a better gray'
'Maybe even a colour.'
'Yes, maybe. Make it our own gray-our own colour.'
'Anything but cigarette gray.'
His hand, made of a stone so rare it is gentle and warm to every shoulder it touched, perched on my right side, held me close as he stood a person away.

We watched in our jeans and long shirts as the men dawned in yellow caps tore our home away with their wrecking balls and cranes. I watched knowing well I had left my lighter next to the bed.
The minute before we left for the funeral, we shared another coil and then threw in between the mattresses we stacked; painting the sheets orange and blue with the flame we bred. We murdered our nest so we would not let it die at the hands of cold machines we did not wield.
It died, as did we--watching our tree fall to the Earth. It made quite the crash and the ashes still dwell among sludge and cockroaches: content with boarding with organs and partaking in the slumber-less nights when I wrap myself under Dmitry's tongue as it plays its nostalgic lullaby.}

Sketch_3: Centipediment

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.::the tale of an enabler::.

by ~Calin-4, Jul 4, 2012, 6:29:42 PM
Literature / Poetry / Nature / Free Verse

^{It's summer

The warm air mixes with the excitement of children who don't know what to do with themselves

And parents who are wondering if the rain will hurt the rhubarb

It might

It's pouring as the lightning bolts rub elbows with thunderclaps and fireworks

And the teenagers are washed up to the surface through the soil that has piled up since the first summer day

They wished the day would not come when they had to do more than forget about the thousands of others on the planet

Yet they are happy to see there is no sun after all

They must have imagined it

But they can't ignore it for too much longer

It's hot now

I have to wear my bathing suit and shorts if I want to go outside

And there is no chill that tickles me under my chin and dances in and out of my jacket asking if I'm warm enough

There are only rain showers and sunburns

And mommy forgot to pack the sunscreen

So I'll go to dinner tonight under the guise of a lobster}

~Click on the Deviation because there is more to read.

travis

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12.30.6.27.12

by ~Calin-4, Jun 26, 2012, 9:31:32 PM
Literature / Poetry / Romantic / General / Free Verse

^{The forbidden relief of a mosquito bite
Something grotesque and best ignored
I am reminded of you and your grin

It oozes from the irritation I provided it with
As I hacked at myself with pickaxes for fingers
I am reminded of you and your voice coiling down my ears
Burning my skull and boiling off my skin

They are everywhere
Invading a worthless domain with their intrusive flags
Pegging my shell, penetrating my hull
I am reminded how I was supposed to forget you
As part of my new years' resolution

But it looks like I will not be sober anytime soon
Let alone abolish all the mosquitoes on this stolid rock}

~Click on the Deviation because there is more to read.

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II: Allen Ginsberg: Howl

by ~Calin-4, Apr 29, 2013, 11:57:15 AM
Journals / Personal

Carl Solomon! I'm with you in Rockland

where you're madder than I am

I'm with you in Rockland

where you must feel strange

I'm with you in Rockland

where you imitate the shade of my mother

I'm with you in Rockland

where you've murdered your twelve secretaries

I'm with you in Rockland

where you laugh at this invisible humour

I'm with you in Rockland

where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter

I'm with you in Rockland

where your condition has become serious and is reported on the radio

I'm with you in Rockland

where the faculties of the skull no longer admit the worms of the senses

I'm with you in Rockland

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica

I'm with you in Rockland

where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the harpies of the Bronx

I'm with you in Rockland

where you scream in a straightjacket that you're losing the game of actual pingpong of the abyss

I'm with you in Rockland

where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul is innocent and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed madhouse

I'm with you in Rockland

where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void

I'm with you in Rockland

where you accuse your doctors of insanity and plot the Hebrew socialist revolution against the fascist national Golgotha

I'm with you in Rockland

where you will split the heavens of Long Island and resurrect your living human Jesus from the superhuman tomb

I'm with you in Rockland

where there are twentyfive thousand mad comrades all together singing the final stanzas of the Internationale

I'm with you in Rockland

where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and won't let us sleep

I'm with you in Rockland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls' airplanes roaring over the roof they've come to drop angelic bombs the hospital illuminates itself imaginary walls collapse O skinny legions run outside O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here O victory forget your underwear we're free

I'm with you in Rockland

in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night

~Allen Ginsberg

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Listening to: echoes of my own words that I shouted at my mother
Reading: Howl, Allen Ginsberg
Watching: Doctor Who
Playing: with the idea reality
Eating: Nutella
Drinking: Milk

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~Calin-4

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~squonkhunter Mar 16, 2013 Student General Artist

Thanks for adding my creepy prose to your favorites! 8)

~Calin-4 Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

always a pleasure

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~Calin-4 Mar 4, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I have no idea what you are talking about. I have not deleted any journal and how dare you attack a feminist's political statement as a way to hurt me. Weak. And that's Calin to you sir.
Anyway, I have not ignored you in the slightest. Explain to me what exactly you are mad about except for the fact that you cannot use correct punctuation, grammar, or spelling to get your point across.
Besides, you were the one to instigate. You went on my piece of writing and posted something irrelevant. I did not like it and so I expressed it. And no, I am not high and mighty, not in the slightest, and I would really just like it if you could come down off that pedestal you seem to put yourself on and talk to me like a competent human being instead of a child. No, I do not like some of the things you do, I may never, and sure I kid about it, even if it may not seem like it, it is kidding even if my opinions are true. But at least I do not go out of my way to poke fun at you. I told you, my writing, not cool. You can write pony all over my profile, hell even send me emails of the word listed a million times, I dare you. But never, never bring my work into this.
I have not ignored you. In my own convoluted way I have tried to be civil. Your ambiguity betrays you. You have made yourself moot.

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~Calin-4

Newest Deviations

board and keep

board and keep

Sketch_3: Centipediment

.::the tale of an enabler::.

.::the tale of an enabler::.

travis

12.30.6.27.12

12.30.6.27.12

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II: Allen Ginsberg: Howl

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